Dont want ex girlfriend or baby mama drama. I crave intelligence as well as personality. IF interested put 100 Sbm looking for a good women the subject line.
Seeking to help each other m4w seeking for a female 19-35 who might be willing to help me with some desires I have.
July 15, SBM 1. There is no all-encompassing formula for relationships. The diversity of individuals in this world ensures no possible algorithm for success, so consider yourself fortunate if you get it right and find someone whose values and perspectives beat to the rhythm of your own life. Truthfully speaking — my first relationship failed miserably. But on the […]. April 5, Guest Post 1. It was a Sunday afternoon, right after church. The piece used the new relationship between Russell Wilson and Ciara as proof that there are men that will abstain from sex with the right woman.
I spent most of that post reassuring celibate or prospective celibate women […]. Is Celibate The New Single? March 10, SBM Staff 6. Have you ever had one of those intimate conversations that just could go on forever? You feel truly known, and you truly know the person across from you: Imagine being intimately and truly seduced, before having sex.
No one is born a dating expert, but avoiding these 4 common dating faux pas […]. Men can make us angry. From being inconsiderate to making us feel a bit unappreciated. He would be darn near perfect if he just did not get you into that state of frustration. Single, Married, and Separated, Oh My! February 29, Guest Post 2. It was a Friday night and I was in the mood to shake my groove thang! Not a bad week, just long and I needed to let loose and […]. All jokes aside though, my weekend left me in a […].
Pin It on Pinterest./p>
I think it might be like that women. Its probs not to that extent, but I don't think men are dividing their attentions equally among women. A good number of women are getting left out in the cold. And then there all the other factors that you mentioned. Which I agree with. My recent post Life is funny. This is a very interesting analogy and one I hadn't considered before. I'll have to chew on this a bit, but thanks.
My recent post Mad Men: At the Codfish Ball. Good analogy and this makes sense to a certain degree. I've even hear multiple stories from different women on how they'll let a guy approach and talk and then pull over her often less than aesthically pleasing home girl and introduce them and leave. And listen, I understand not every guy looks like a Michael Ealy or Idris, but those snaggle-toothed guys will approach more women more often than their woman counterparts will get approached by men it would appear.
This is SOO true. And this isn't limited to facially challenged friends. Maybe the 'not as pretty' friend has the more complimenting outfit for her figure…or a more attractive personality. Sometimes the higher-level girl in the looks department has a reputation that implies she won't be as easy prey for an evening of post-bar fun. That's a factor in being approached too. Care to go ahead and point out the immediate differences between those who are juggling and those who barely get attention?
In my group, the main girl with several men is playing the men for money…she's playing their game because she was hurt deep and has decided that love is not a risk she's willing to take anymore. So she exchanges her bangin body for their finances, and all sides call it a win…til one of the dudes falls for her, then his heart gets broken. And of course she has breakdowns sometimes too….
The other girl that seems to stay jugglin' does so because she can't get the man that she wants to commit to her, so she allows the side players to entertain her when he's unavailable to her. She wants love, she's just not willing to be alone or leave the man she wants in the process of finding it. Yes, based on the idea of who is approaching who…it gives men the edge of approaching "good" females. A woman can have a bum hit on her in the street and she would count that in the ten as someone not good enough for her.
As compared to men…I don't think much of us will be hitting on the homeless woman in the street. Leading to less chances of undateable women. Yes…men are more flexible with their standards. Men are more willing to "date down" than women are. We can easily tell this by who we see men going for…Sometimes majority based on looks and the other qualities are then negotiable key word is sometimes and its also based on the guy.
At the same time…most women want a guy to be the main provider…which calls for a man not only being at their level, but at an even higher level even if they're non-deserving. In a way, it creates a playing field where viable men are less frequent than viable women.
BUT…at the same time…men are the way they are because of women. Why do men go out to get money? Why do men learn to cook? To be self sufficient and because women love men that can cook. Because majority of women will either say: But are there a ton of great guys out there? I consider myself one, I think my male friends are good guys, and I refuse to think I'm something special when there are millions of other guys out there that could be just like me or even better.
Are good guys the majority of the dating pool for women? I will admit to that. But at the same time…good women aren't the majority of the dating pool.
I think there are lots of "good" men and "good" women in the dating pool. The trick is finding the right one for you. Oh, and knowing when you have a "good" one that's a keeper. For some odd reason, despite the stats, news reports, and other miscellaneous outlets in my experience I have not had an issue with finding "good" men to date. To be honest, it would depend on what I am looking for at the time he approached.
It seems I am a bit backwards as I meet "boyfriend material" when I am not looking for a relationship. Also, I will say that I have "approached" a guy. I say "approached" meaning I said hello or initiated conversation. I don't think it's a big deal who speaks first so long as someone speaks. The main issue is that most women want their equal and men don't always have that as a criteria. When I say women want their equal, I also mean someone of a similar socio-economic background and education.
Women are obtaining degrees in much greater numbers than men, so the chances of them finding their equal are being reduced. Either men have to step up in education, or women need to adjust their standards to those of men, where they just have to settle for someone they are attracted to or get along with but who may not have a comparable career or education. Women may have to accept becoming the breadwinners. Im with Naija on this one most of what she said is insync with my views.
I also think geographical location has something to do with it because that ultimately affects the demographics in the area and ultimately your dating opportunities.
I cant really speak from my personal experience, as i had my last relationship while i was still in university 2 years ago so my view point is neither recent nor objective.
I am optimistic that the guys from varsity have evolved into men who would be atleast boyfriend worthy. Out of 10 guys that approach me, perhaps 1 would be friend-boy quality; goes back to a previous article about dating in big cities and the fact that at this junction of my life my career is my primary concern. I been aware of this fact, and economics says that as a slightly above aint ish man i should determine my market value accordingly.
Even now i know a legit 6 women i can probably wife up tomorrow, none of them are even talking to someone serious coldworld. I think its a maturity thing, as young hoodrats might get their grown woman on at about 26, while men might not until their 30s if at all. Yes there are good men for good women. All one woman wants is one good man. Not a team of em. We are in a decade long recession.
Unemployment for black men even college educated is way high. Even with a college degree most of will change jobs several times. Face it I am not given the same leash as the brother who makes 50k, drives a nice car, goes out on the reg and seems to be the life of the party oh and is debt free because he didnt make the braindead.
Couples use to build together. Now we must upgrade or enhance the other. Unemployment for black men, even college educated is way high. We are the disposable generation. Just look at the divorce rates and marriage lengths. Face it I am not given the same leash as the brother who makes 50k, drives a nice car, goes out on the reg and seems to be the life of the party oh and is debt free because he didnt make the braindead decsion to actually go to a four year university to chase his passionate idea of becoming a film maker.
Yet most women want me to be as smart as she and out earn her too? Ok well when do women start to really go hard on this? When I was in school I never heard of it, the moment we graduate is an automatic pre req. Most of my boys with kids and relationships eschewed college for the ability to make money from while I toiled for peanuts in my work study gigs. Sometimes it seems women want the working dude to become the educated brother yet do it debt free.
What do you mean you won't give her the reassurance people expect with relationships? What reassurance is that and why won't you give it to her? A lot of women "not all" because i have met many that aren't are looking for that guy that "has it all" in their eyes". But since im so focused on that small percent the chances are slim to none of me scoring a mate from that "worthy" market.
There is pleny of good mates FOR both sides. Got to wake up sooner or later. We are all good…to ourselves. Most importantly we are all capable of great things if encouraged. People associate support with "take care of" which is only one definition. To date a man, I have to see in him the potential to be together longterm. Now, the above may not seem like too much of a list, but believe it or not, more than half the time the last requirement is the hardest to fill.
Just this weekend I was out with one of my close friends who spent the entire night with this one dude buying her drinks, cuddling up to her at the bar, introducing her to friends of his, etc. He asked when he could see her again. She said it depended on his answers to her basic questions. Question asked again, and more firmly: I guess I can't lie. She walked away, he followed, attempted to talk her into going out with him anyway.
Granted, this was not my experience, but it's far from typical. This particular man at least admitted to being married. Half the time, they don't. So, we're not only up against the difficulties of finding a "good" guy in general. We're up trying to find an un-attached good guy. You might argue that a "good" guy wouldn't be blatantly hitting on women in a bar while his wife is elsewhere, but good in this post seemed to be defined as simply a guy I would consider dating.
If 10 random men approached me, I'd probably find of them dateable. And I don't consider myself picky. I don't have a salary requirement as long as you live within your means. I don't automatically dead a man if he has a child more than one is a definite pause, though.
I understand although I don't like the lack of a car thing with dudes who live within the NYC limits. However, at 28, cute, good-job-having, childless, funny, smart, supportive, loyal, and Lord knows how many other great qualities toot toot goes my horn: Yeah this is going to be a problem every time: The stories I could tell y'all about some lowercase single dudes I went out with. You live and you learn….
I have a question…do women really still NOT approach men? So that makes me wonder if approaching men is the issue in terms of odds of meeting datable men. Yeah, that's definitely DC.
Other areas of the country, in my experiences, a LOT of women that are within my peripheral circle HBCU, Greek, advanced degrees absolutely refuse to "date down". Some are even willing to date "outside the circle", or even hope and pray that their ideal black man gets a divorce and open up a spot for them to ensure they will not "date down", let alone "marry down". A lot of them are like Taraji P.
Speaking for myself, I have no problem "dating up" as I am secure in the lane God has me in. If it becomes a problem in the relationship, given my aforementioned statement, it won't be my fault. Well if you and your parents worked hard to get you through a very prestigious university, then you busted your butt to be the best or close to the best at what you do in your field, why should you have to date down.
When men reach a certain level of accomplishment their options as far as women go expand. I also think Tarajii was just too pig headed to see a man with actually potential and take into account that she had a man that really cared about her. Is it dating down? The butcher-pimp raises a good question here. My recent post She Wanted My Tea. I Wanted My Lunch.
The answer is "No" a college degree does not equate financial success even moreso now in these hard economic times, give me a dude with a good skill who has the know how and mindset to turn a pumpkin into a carriage and I'm good. No but the majority of plumbers might not fall into that category. I guess I'm not necessarily saying you are against it.
I'm asking a general question, because a lot of women feel that way and think blue-collar workers are beneath them. I work for a municipality and in addition to engineering, I oversee construction projects of bridges, riverwalks and parking structures.
Those women are more attracted to the allure of a title. Think about it like this a woman goes to her annual Christmas party, brings her man. She works for a big company, is in mid-level management. Now they get in a conversation with some of her coworkers, boss etc.. I don't believe in dating down. I don't believe I'm better than anyone else because of any of my achievements. I can't speak for DC.
I've never lived there. I lived in TX until age 25 and now reside in CO. In my lifetime, I've been approached by maybe 10 women and that's a high estimate.
Also, that number has increased as I've gotten older. By the time I graduated college, maybe 3 women had approached me. This very well may be your perspective because there just might be a gang of really "good" dudes over there. Yeah, there are definitely still women out there who don't and WON'T approach men, myself included. I don't buy into the whole "dating down" thing either.
I mean what is that?? Granted, I've never dated anyone without a college degree, but that's not because I turned them down based on that information. That's just who approaches me. However, me and my friend were having a discussion the other day about how golddiggers are winning. Not saying that a woman who won't date down is a goldigger, but a lot of men want the woman they can't have, or as I've heard some men put it, "a woman that's too good for them.
I'm like well maybe I should get on the golddigging train and ride for a while. It seems to be working. I'm from the DC burbs…I don't approach, neither do any of my friends. It's just not my style.
Thanks for responding yall! I didn't have internet access during the day yesterday till last night and couldn't get in on the conversation in a timely manner. I aslo think that we have to differentiate the difference between "dating" and "girlfriend material". Like Wis said, the reason men might have better options is because initially, we don't have that much criteria. Im convinced the majority of men are looking at women from a sexual perspective first.
Thats why we dont have the same laundry list of deal breakers that women do. ONce we get past that and get to know a woman better, then we are pulling out our questionnaires to see whats good.
Also, what does vagina taste like because I might just have to disappoint my mother an switch teams. I thought I'd make it in this dating game……seems the rules change and get harder everyday.
What Im saying is that men see women first for their physical characteristics. If that is appealing to them, then they make sure the major points are covered. Does she sound like a dumb box of rocks or is she as interesting as drying paint? Is she lookin for a come-up?
These are major points we can ascertain from a few convos or initial meeting. From there its a go. Over time is where men decide whether it can go past physical or just "attraction" to something realer. My recent post Take Me Back to I don't try to overcome odds. If there is something special about someone I meet I try to let them know in some kind of way. When someone feels that way about me, I trust they will do the. Everything else is me just living life, meeting who I meet, and having fun in the process.
Out of the guys that approach, maybe 3. A lot of guys that approach just do that all the time. They aren't looking for anything special. That cuts out half at least. The rest may be bf material in general, but you may not like or be attracted those are the ones that'd have to work to change your mind.
Then you have the 1 or 2 you actually like but timing, distance,…. Interesting conversation…less good men—may be very well be some logical reasoning in the equation, yet I can't help to see all the comments about the random 10—1 or 2??
I am not the one to judge, because the perspective is completely relative. We can be extremely critical of each other limiting our dating pool.
We have this habit of an increasingly demanding list—which in itself is not bad, but the problem comes when we allow minor things to cloud our vision of what could potentially be a good thing. Not that I devalue myself by any means, I just choose not to judge early prefer to let it play out and see what it is. I don't necessarily think there are less "good" men from which women can select.
I think there are less men who want the same kind of committed that the majority of women want. But it seems that a lot of men don't want this until later in their life. I hate the term "settle down" because it implies that one a person decides to commit to one person that they are some how settling. It seems that a lot of men feel that they have to all their fun as a bachelor. Once they are old, tired and spent they will fully commit to someone. Men and women just view marriage very different.
So it's not so much that there aren't good men. I think it's a shortage of men who don't absolutely dread the idea or marriage or long term committment and think it's something embark on once they've squoze every ounce of fun outta their bachelorhood that they can. Statistically speaking, yes, because there are fewer men, combined with the fact that women are unlikely to date down. I overcame the odds of there being less good men by being a heterosexual male.
There are fewer men overall, so yes. The problem, as many addressed, is women cut down their potential suitors by attaining advanced degrees, then view dating those without those degrees and career achievements as dating down. Additionally, just as men are less likely to settle when they don't feel they've achieved a high enough level of personal success, women are less likely to date a guy on route to personal success.
They want the man that has already reached that level. I think this comes with age. I think the older a women gets the less time she feels she has to date a man trying to figure out his dream, or just beginning the route to success especially if she's been striving for excellence from early in her career.
I think the older a women gets the less time she feels she has to date a man trying to figure out his dream". If this is true, then why are women so averse to approaching men? The other issue is nonviable men are far more likely to approach women. I can relate to this in the gym, where dynamics are slightly different.
Any man with appreciable muscle mass knows that in the gym, women are more flirtatious and have no problem touching your arms or chest. Typically, these women tend to be…let's just say nonviable. The viable women do have more tact, as they usually feign ignorance and ask how to do an exercise versus feeling on your arm the female equivalent of, "hey ma! You got it, UHBP; you got it. I was standing in line for the bus the other day and some guy next to me thought "You skinny eh!
It would've been fair to assume that he simply thought I needed a burger or five if he didn't have on what he must have thought was a sexy "I'm tryna tap that, whatchu sayin'? Crusty old ass pot bellied man. It really boils down to the type of people you're around. If you're a college-educated professional, you probably hang out with a lot of college-educated professionals and Greeks.
And the higher your education, the smaller your circle gets just by nature of what you do. So if more women are getting degrees and joining the paper chase, it makes sense that there would be a lot more women in these circles. I think about when someone asks me if i know any "good" single guys that would be interested in meeting someone, and the good dudes I know are already in relationships, engaged, married, or just steadily playing the field…so my answer ends up being no.
Not because the dudes are lame, but just because I can confidently recommend anybody from my circle s that's single and looking to commit. So maybe the answer is that there are less good men available as opposed to less good men period. For example, if you're a single, educated, averagely attractive woman living in Memphis, your opinion about the dating pool of eligible good black men is gonna be exponentially different than women who live in say Atlanta or Charlotte.
I attach that to simply be reflective of the tangibility of higher education. Within city limits, there's far more public colleges in Atlanta and Charlotte than there are in Memphis. So if a degree is a must-have for you, you're hard-pressed to find that in a city that's slowly developing.
My recent post So how did the Giants do in the draft? I agree with where one lives having a lot to do with who the number of "eligible" black men and even women for that matter.
Women are hard-pressed to find a man with a job and no felonies, let alone a degree. Quite disheartening when you think about… but you can always move someplace else I guess.
Meant to say "can't confidently recommend anybody" Thanks to those who read through the typo and got it anyway. And that's what it is Slim. In this conversatin the term "viable" seems much more appropriate, because we're not saying that if you're "already in relationships, engaged, married, or just steadily playing the field" that you're "bad" — but you're not a viable option for dating a relationship minded girl, and that's what we're really looking for i.
I'm guessing a low number, that correlates pretty well with the number of viable advances out of 10 that women recieve. And conversely, if you as a single man looking for a relationship asked me to set you up with a friend of mine, I'd have more options for you…. I absolutely agree that there are more viable canidates for men than for women especially when expectations are factored in. You make a good point on the 10 dudes I associate with. The number is probably the same…if not lower than the "viable" approach average we're seeing in the comments on today's post.
I hope they appreciate you for that…….. Finally a man who knows what that really means! I hate when you ask folks that and they hook you up wit somebody married, but seperated , involved, in a situation, in a complicated situation, an azzhole, or a playa from the himalaya's. Lets not forget more men die every year in the more dangerous, physically demanding necessary jobs. Aside from the dudes who are already taken and the ones who don't come correct in the first place i.
Well, in my case, I honestly do not get approached by men that much at all. I get catcalls, but it never goes anywhere from there. The occasional normal dude. All the men I have gone out with in the past year except for ONE I've met via mutual friends on social networking sites. The last two men that asked me out had between them 11 children. Like I told them, children are a blessing, but I want a family of my own too and they have MUCH too large of a head start for me.
To make it to husband material, I'll admit, I'm picky, no doubt. But it's so easy to dismiss most of the men that approach me, they just make it so easy. From the disrespectful approaches to the lack of common sense to the lack of teeth or abundance of offspring…it may sound bad to say 1 or 2 out of 10 is viable, but it's not an exaggeraion at all. And all that is part of the total "approach" Krys — it's not that we eliminate them on sight, but within the first few minutes of conversation or lack of conversation during the approach…like I don't need a date to know that we aren't compatible if your opening line is "so you trying to eff?
I thought the "approach" was just when a dude comes up and asks what your interests are, who you be with, things to make you smile, what numbers to dial, you gon' be here for a while? Dudes just walk up and volunteer the information that they have ten kids?
I wouldn't really know how it's done these days. One dude did just walked up to me and offer up the fact that he's jobless but he's a student and blah blah. I was stunned and wasn't sure how long he expected me to stand there and listen to his little monologue. Finally, he asked for my number and I was like nah, I'm married.
He got mad and was like you should've been done said that. I'm like I didn't have a chance. You should've asked that in the first place. From the way ya'll talking today though, maybe they don't really care. As a side note, I have noticed a pattern of women volunteering the number of kids they have upon first interaction.
Maybe they think I'll run in the opposite direction or maybe they just want to let me know their situation from jump…. What usually happens is they ask ME how many kids I have and when I answer none and they do a lil dance and literally fist bump me, my eyebrow o' concern raises and I ask the question in return.
I don't guard my phone number with the voracity that some women do, I feel like getting to know one another is greatly hindered if they can't contact me ever again, lol — but in general, before the math is exchanged, I know some basic things about the man…often they ask where I work, how many children I have not IF I have children, lol and what I like to do for fun and I parrot those questions back at them. That's plenty of time for them to eff up, lol.
I can totally relate. I also get pure D shock and disbelief and then….. Why you don't have no kids? Okay I can get with that. It's been a while for me so the conversation is over just as quickly as it begins. I get approached though and if I weren't married, some of the guys would have a chance, maybe 7 of 10, but I guess I don't really know.
The approach is just the first hurdle, it's the stuff that comes after it that would build the relationship. I agree with "men are less picky" but I think this is the utmost wack juice on the part of women. Listen, I don't expect many people to agree with me.
If you ask the married women and the women who are in relationships, they will tell you there are good men out there you just have to find them. Life is not a breadline. You actually have to go out there and do your thing. A wack dude in a roomful of hoes will think there are no women to have sex with because he just can't do it. It's the same for women.
The women who are out here representing the top tier of their gender are not finding this to be hard. And just to follow up on that point, i'm not talking about degrees and wealth. I'm talking about those women who look in the mirror and know for a fact that they are the creme of the crop and they would make a good ass woman for a man. They walk around knowing that they can pull any man they want. And as the article said, it's not about how many good men are out there… you only want one.
When someone uses that excuse that there aren't any good men or not as many good men, I hear that to mean, she doesn't think she has the quan to get the man she wants and needs more chances.
I meet great men every single day. I'm just not compatible with most of them, but that doesn't mean they are not amazing dudes. FYI- when I'm speaking compatibility, it's only 2 things- attraction, and equal minds.
Everything else is a bonus. First, I have to be attracted to you at some level. Second-and this is the hardest- we have to be of an equal mind. As you can tell, I have a pretty unique sense of humour. I can't spend my entire day explaining my jokes to you.
In the like minded vein you have to want out of me what I can give to you. I get really turned off by guys that just expect me to fall back into a "pretty role" in the passenger seat of their random "luxury" vehicle or, just the train. I vehemently agree with this. I was about to reply to the post that if a group of 10 men approach me, and only one is date-able that's all it would take for me to get a date, so that works.
Why contemplate on such things when you know what you have to offer is very much in demand? One of my mentors is in her 50's and she pulls only quality men of all age. She doesn't sit back and overthink the hell out of things.
Why theorize, project or follow trends when you can very much design yourself to be an outlier? I believe I will have what I want and it's just that simple. I strongly believe also the notion, people may not always remember what you say or what you do, but always how you made them feel.
Focus on what you have to offer a person. This is an excellent point J and one that I think often goes overlooked — perhaps because it's not representative of the "fairy tale" ending most men and women desire. I feel a number of women argue on behalf of all women when we are not talking about all women. No man or woman can speak for all men and women.
That said, my post s — and likely the staff as a group but I don't want to speak for them — is referring to the rule not the exceptions. If you, as a woman or man , are perfectly content with your status, achievements and successes in dating and beyond then more power to you. I thank you for reading but you are not who I am talking to. Take this post for example: Trying get some good action m4t. Oral skills humboldt alamo.
Seeking a sensual, creative bi woman who can moderately sing. Looking for a Lifetime of Love. Married male looking for married female friend. Ready for a woman! The Patio, Part Time Punks 2 Profiles on this site have been submitted to sites with the purposes of finding someone for dating, casual sex, or a relationship. Some of these profiles may not be registered users and may be for illustrative purposes only. To report bad profiles, please Contact Us.
Blondes searching online dating. Where can I go down u? I ready people to fuck, Divorced sbm looking for swbbw About: Hot oil or stone massage Free. Big thick dick looking for fun. I ready dick, Not important sbm looking for swbbw About: Yo Li i just finish watching.
Building good looking stone Life is Good T-Shirts for Women. Gravel riding is one of the fastest-growing styles of cycling, and for good reason: What does a good crush look like, and does it matter if , I am looking for some advice on what a good crush looks like, , But Presell Crusher lets you control the look and feel of your survey and you can get as hands on as you want.
Surveys look good on any device, Impact crusher, jaw crusher mining equipments, sand making machines and industrial grinding mills, offering expressway, rail way and water conservancy projects the Shop skin care, Makeup, Fragrance.
Discover the world of possibilities with Oriflame Business GTR Best Deals of: Bone Crusher's official music video for 'Never Scared'.
If, you want meet me so add my personal gmail 2dayfun SWF looking for a SBM. Age doesn't matter to much but I prefer 30s range. Bbw with a really good job, car and my own place. crusher,cone crusher columbia steel is a leading worldwide manufacturer of a of quality replacement crusher wear we are also looking for a good placer. Unlike men, women don't want more men. ONE good man will do. Maybe Women Have Less Good Men to Choose From: I’ve touched on this idea before in a post I wrote on marriage rates in our community; however, rather than quote statistics I’m going to operate on these more recent realizations. Speaking for self, I believe the majority of women I have to choose from are ‘good’ women.